Author: David Gilfillan

I stepped outta the shower and I gotta good look at myself

Pot belly, bald head, man, I thought I was somebody else

I caught my reflection in the mirror on the back of my bathroom door

I just don’t look good naked anymore

.

.He just don’t look good naked anymore

.

So, I’m goin’ upstairs and turn the bedroom mirror to the wall

I hung it there when I was trim and tall

I’d stand there and smile, and strut and flex until my arms got sore

But I just don’t look good naked anymore

.

He just don’t look good naked anymore

.

Well, me and my wife had a dance routine

Everybody said it was unique

Now it’s only when we’re back to back

That we’re dancing cheek to cheek

.

I went to the Doctor for my annual medical exam

Stood there in the buff, suddenly he said “MAN”

I said “What is it Doc, some fatal disease,

I just gotta know the score”

He said “No, you just don’t look good naked anymore

.

He just don’t look good naked anymore

.

I went to a nudie beech to have some seaside fun

Stretched out in my birthday suit, soakin’ up the sun Somebody yelled,

“Hey, there’s an old white whale washed up on the shore

I just don’t look good naked anymore

.

He just don’t look naked anymore.

.

Yeah, my arches fell, my chest went to hell And my

butt’s a-draggin’ the floor An’ I just don’t look good naked anymore

No, I just don’t look good naked anymore

.

He just don’t look good naked anymore

.

We just don’t look good naked anymore

.

.

Well, here I am from Paddy’s land, a land of high renown 
I’ve broke the hearts of all the girls for miles round Keady town 
And when they hear that I’m awa’ they’ll raise a hullabaloo 
When they hear about that handsome lad they call Jack Donahue! 

CHORUS
Well now I’m the boy to squeeze her, and I’m the boy to tease her 
I’m the boy that can please her up and I’ll tell you what I’ll do 
I’ll court her like an Irishman 
Wi’ me brogue and blarney too is me plan 
With the holligan, rolligan, swolligan, molligan bold O’Donahue! 

I wish my love was a red. red rose growing on yon garden wall 
And me to be a dewdrop and upon her brow I’d fall! 
Perhaps now she might think of me as a rather heavy dew 
And no more she’d love that handsome lad they call O’Donahue! 

Well I hear that Queen Victoria has a daughter fine and grand 
Perhaps she’d take it into her head for to marry an Irishman 
And if I could only get the chance to have a word or two 
I’m sure she’d take a notion to the bold O’Donahue! 

As I roved out on a May morning,
On a May morning quite early,
It’s there I met my 0wn true love
But lord she was early.

Chorus

And she sang lithie adoda lithie adoda lithie adoda alee 

And she hidle daloppa dee she hidaloppa dee and see landed

.

Her hair was black her stockings white

and her buckles shone like silver

She had a dark and a roving eye

And her earrings tipped her shoulder

.

I went to the house on the top of the hill 

whe the moon was shining clearly

And she arose to let me in 

But her mother chanced to hear me

.

She caught her by the hair of her head

And down to the room she brought her

And by the root of a hazel twig

She was a well beat daughter

.

Will ye marry me now me soldier lad

Will ye marry me now or never

Marry me now me soldier lad 

For you see I’m done forever

.

I can’t marry you me bonnie wee lass

I can’t marry you nae never

For I have got a wife at home 

And how csn I disown her

.

Now a pint at night is my delight
And a gallon in the morning.
The old women are my heartbreak
But the young ones are my darling.

When I was a young man I carried my pack
And I lived the free life of a rover
From the murrays green basin to the dusty outback
I waltzed my matilda all over
Then in nineteen fifteen my country said son
It’s time to stop rambling ’cause there’s work to be done
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And they sent me away to the war

And the band played Waltzing Matilda
As we sailed away from the quay
And amidst all the tears and the shouts and the cheers
We sailed off to Gallipoli

How well I remember that terrible day
When the blood stained the sand and the water
And how in that hell that they called suvla bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter
Johnny Turk he was ready, he primed himself well
He showered us with bullets, and he rained us with shells
And in five minutes flat he’d blown us all to hell
Nearly blew us right back to Australia

And a band played waltzing Matilda
As we stopped to bury our slain
And we buried ours and the Turks buried theirs
Then it started all over again

Now those who were living did their best to survive
In that mad world of blood, death and fire
And for seven long weeks I kept myself alive
While the corpses around me piled higher
Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over tit
And when I awoke in my hospital bed
And saw what it had done, Christ I wished I was dead
Never knew there were worse things than dying

And no more I’ll go waltzing Matilda
To the green bushes so far and near
For to hump tent and pegs, a man needs two legs
No more waltzing Matilda for me

So they collected the cripples, the wounded and maimed
And they shipped us back home to Australia
The legless, the armless, the blind and insane
Those proud wounded heroes of suvla
And as our ship pulled into circular quay
I looked at the place where me legs used to be
And thank Christ there was nobody waiting for me
To grieve and to mourn and to pity

And a band played Waltzing Matilda
As they carried us down the gangway
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared
And they turned all their faces awayAnd now every

April I sit on my porch
And I watch the parade pass before me
I see my old comrades, how proudly they march
Reliving their dreams of past glory
I see the old men, all twisted and torn
The forgotten heroes of a forgotten war
And the young people ask me, “what are they Marching for?”
And I ask myself the same question

And the band plays Waltzing Matilda
And the old men still answer to the call
But year after year their numbers get fewer
Some day no one will march there at all

It was on the road to sweet Athy, hurroo, hurroo
It was on the road the road to sweet Athy, hurroo, hurroo
It was on the road to sweet Athy,
With a stick in her hand and a tear in her eye,
A doleful damsel I did spy ,
Johnny I hardly knew ye.

Chorus

With your guns and drums and drums and guns, hurroo, hurroo
With your guns and drums and drums and guns, hurroo, hurroo
With your guns and drums and drums and guns,
The enemy nearly slew ye
Oh my darling dear, Ye look so queer
Johnny I hardly knew ye.

Where are the eyes that were so mild, hurroo, hurroo
Where are the eyes that were so mild, hurroo, hurroo
Where are the eyes that were so mild,
When my heart you so beguiled
Why did ye sci-daddle from me and the child
Oh Johnny, I hardly knew ye

Where are the legs with which you run, hurroo, hurroo
Where are the legs with which you run, hurroo, hurroo
Where are the legs with which you run,
When first you went to carry a gun
Indeed your dancing days are done
Oh Johnny, I hardly knew ye

Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo
Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo
Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg,
Ye’re an armless, boneless, chickenless egg
Ye’ll have to put with a bowl out to beg
Oh Johnny I hardly knew ye

With your guns and drums and drums and guns, hurroo, hurroo
Oh Johnny I hardly knew yeWith your guns and drums and drums and guns, hurroo, hurroo
With your guns and drums and drums and guns,
The enemy nearly slew ye
Oh my darling dear, Ye look so queer
Johnny I hardly knew ye.The enemy never slew ye
Oh, my darling dear you look so queer

O the summer time has come 
And the trees are sweetly blooming 
And wild mountain thyme 
Grows around the purple heather. 
Will you go, lassie, go?

Chorus 
And we’ll all go together, 
To pull wild mountain thyme, 
All around the purple heather. 
Will you go, lassie, go?

I will build my love a bower, 
By yon clear crystal fountain, 
And on it I will pile, 
All the flowers of the mountain. 
Will you go, lassie, go?

I will range through the wilds 
And the deep land so dreary 
And return with the spoils 
To the bower o’ my dearie. 
Will ye go lassie go ?

If my true love she’ll not come, 
Then I’ll surely find another, 
To pull wild mountain thyme, 
All around the purple heather. 
Will you go, lassie, go?

Twas Friday morn when we set sail
And we were not far from the land
When the captain, he spied a lovely mermaid
With a comb and a glass in her hand

Chorus.

And the ocean’s waves will roar
And the stormy winds will blow
While we poor sailors Lads skipping up aloft
And the landlubbers lie down below below, below
And the landlubbers lie down below

Then up spoke the captain of our gallant ship
And a fine old man was he
He said, “This fishy mermaid has cursed upon our ship:
We shall sink to the bottom of the sea!” chorus

And up spoke the mate of our gallant ship
And a well-spoken man was he
I have me a wife in Salem by the sea
And tonight she a widow will be

And up spoke the cook of our gallant ship
And a rbloody old butcher was he
Saying I care much more for my pots and my pans
Than I do for the bottom of the sea

Then three times around went our gallant ship
And three times around went she
Three times around went our gallant ship
And she sank to the bottom of the sea

I’ll tak’ my plaidie contented to be, 
A wee bittie kilted abune my knee, 
An’ I’ll gie my pipes another blaw, 
An’ I’ll gang oot o’er the hills tae Gallowa’

Chorus: 
Oh the Gallowa’ hills are covered wi’ broom, 
Wi’ heather bells in bonnie bloom, 
Wi’ heather bells an’ rivers a’ 
An’ I’ll gang oot o’er the hills tae Gallowa’

Hi bonnie lassie will ye come wi’ me 
Tae share your lot in a far country 
For tae share your lot when doon fa’s a’ 
An’ we’ll gang oot ower the hills tae Gallowa’

For I’ll sell my rock, an’ I’ll sell my reel, 
I’ll sell my granny’s spinning wheel, 
I will sell them a’ when doon fa’s a’, 
An’ we’ll gang oot ower the hills tae Gallowa

From Dunmore we drifted Michelmas gone by

Cowhides and wool was our cargo

Twenty young Wild Geese ready fledged to fly

Sailing for the lowlands low

Chorus.

The lowlands low, the lowlands low

Sailing for the lowlands low

The lowlands low, the lowlands low

Sailing for the lowlands low

.

Sean Rouse the skipper from the church of Crook

Piery keeps log for his father

Crew all from Bannow, Fethard and the Hook

Sailing for the lowlands low

.

Gone from our country driven by the foe

Proud and yet sad that we departed

Green hill behind us foreign lands before

Sailing for the lowlands low

.

Pray holy Brendon help us on our way

Guild and protect us from our danger

Keep safe our cargo bring us sailing home

Sailing for the lowlands low.

As I was going over the Cork and Kerry mountains
I met with captain Farrell and his money he was counting. 
I first produced my pistol, and then produced my rapier.
Said stand and deliver, for I am a bold deceiver,

musha ring dumma do damma da 
whack for the daddy ‘ol
whack for the daddy ‘ol
there’s whiskey in the jar

I counted out his money, and it made a pretty penny.
I put it in my pocket and I took it home to Jenny.
She said and she swore, that she never would deceive me,
but the devil take the women, for they never can be easy

I went into my chamber, all for to take a slumber,
I dreamt of gold and jewels and for sure it was no wonder.
But Jenny took my charges and she filled them up with water,
Then sent for captain Farrel to be ready for the slaughter.

It was early in the morning, as I rose up for travel,
The guards were all around me and likewise captain Farrel.
I first produced my pistol, for she stole away my rapier,
But I couldn’t shoot the water so a prisoner I was taken.

If anyone can aid me, it’s my brother in the army,
If I can find his station down in Cork or in Killarney.
And if he’ll come and save me, we’ll go roving near Kilkenny,
And I swear he’ll treat me better than me darling sporting Jenny

Now some men take delight in the fishing and the bowling,
But others take delight in the carriages a rolling.
But I take delight in the juice of the barley,
And courting pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early